quests in MMOs is one of the reason I lost interest in all MMOs except for Kotor and RunEscape VERY quickly.

Seems like Guild Wars 2 would be something for you Jo, it fills the criterias you listed, minus VR of course. We wouldn't want the Matrix, SAO or .hack to become reality, now would we? xD

Optimization comes naturally. There are so many kill / collect quests I can do before my brain start seeing the patterns.

You touched upon a very good issue tentacle man. Min-maxing ruining your sense of wonder. You know how to fix it? By stop obsessing over it.

I've actually been lucky enough to kind-of re-create that "explore a new world" feeling somewhat. I decided to see the other side of the story in Classic, and went Alliance instead of Horde. It's a fresh new experience for me.