What people are saying about "Die Monster"
Die Monster
Comments have been closed for this comic.
Beatman
almost 11 years ago
Richter: ha!!! Castlevania is better then Rebecca black you fiend
Edward:enough talk about twilight have at you!!!!!!! :turns into a puppy:
Richter: (whip crack)
Edward: (bursts in flames) AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beatman
almost 11 years ago
Edward:perhaps the same could be said out of all haters
Richter:your words are as empty as you are full of sparkles
Edward:what is castlevania 'throws glass' a miserble pile of... Of............. ........
Beatman
almost 11 years ago
Die monster you dont belong I'm this world Edward:it twas not by my hand that I am once again givin, sparkles I was called here by teenage girls who wish to pay me tribute.
:richter:tribute!?! You steal girls souls and manipulate Bella you fiend!
Daniel
almost 11 years ago
People hate Twilight for two big reasons. First, it completely throws out what makes vampires vampires. They are supposed to be enemies of man and god. No matter how much sexual subtext is throw in they are always monsters in the end. The second is, Bella is the author's Mary Sue.
Daniel
almost 11 years ago
VAMPIRES DONT SPARKLE!
KnightCrices
about 11 years ago
Screw Julius Belmont, he's not the original Belmont, TREVOR my good man is! He cracks open heads and lobs axes.
asdf
over 11 years ago
A HERO TO US ALL.
MacFinder
over 11 years ago
TWILIGHT SUXXX! I HATE FAKE VAMPIRES
MacFinder
over 11 years ago
DIE MONSTER YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD IT WAS NOT BY MY HAND THAT I AM ONCE AGAIN GIVEN STAGE I WAS CALLED HERE BY FANGIRLS WHO WISHED TO PAY ME TRIBUTE TRIBUTE YOU STEAL GIRL'S SOULS AND MAKE THEM YOUR SLAVES PERHAPS THE SAME COULD BE SAID OF ALL MOVIE STARS HAVE AT YOU
The evil lijeu
almost 12 years ago
and you love twilight?
lijeu
almost 12 years ago
NO I AM THE REAL LIJEU
[343] lijeu
almost 12 years ago
Together, we shall make this the most popular comic ever, forcing the artist to please our twilight demanding ways forever.... huhahahah
The real lijeu
almost 12 years ago
SQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I <3 twilight!!!!
lijeu
almost 12 years ago
TWILIGGHHTTT
about 12 years ago
As it should be.
Lol
about 12 years ago
Bella is all like, "ZOMG DEAD BOYFRIEND DEAD?!?"
"The Man offscreen"
about 12 years ago
Boom. Headshot.
Terrorizer
over 12 years ago
@Jake 'm: Indeed, huge time bonus and "perfect" status.
BlackZero98
over 12 years ago
Wow, didn't expect the Castlevania reference with the Vampire Killer whip.
the REAL REAL Richter Belmont
over 12 years ago
Actually, you are mistaken as well. It's "words", not "worlds".

"Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!"
the REAL Richter Belmont
over 12 years ago
@Richter Belmont: Correction, it's:

Richter: Your worlds are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!
Anon123
over 12 years ago
Did anyone else notice that he called one of the Belmonts "Castlevania"?
Xuncu
over 12 years ago
For Count Spark-cula, all that glitters...
*puts on sunglasses*
Is not gold.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
david
over 12 years ago
what a good service to the poor girl
sole21
over 12 years ago
My first thought upon seeing the previews for Twilight: "Needs moar Blade".
Overlord Fez
over 12 years ago
Hooray!
ZombiePlasticClock
over 12 years ago
Screw Team Jacob and Team Edward. Go Team Belmont
ZombiePlasticClock
over 12 years ago
/!\ Richter Belmont Startled the EMO! /!\
RedStormtrooper
over 12 years ago
I know someone who is actually addicted to Twilight.

She thinks Edward is hot.

I think Edward could be killed with the Soldier's E-Tool. You want a vampire, go look at DRACULA. That's a Vampire!
Candlejack
over 12 years ago
I'm sorry, this is just win, so gonna save this image.
Booze Lee
over 12 years ago
Y'arr.
Spikes01k
over 12 years ago
@A Gray Phantom: I think a cup/mug or hat would also be good.
MemeKnower
over 12 years ago
Should be 'eh', not 'he'.
Geary
over 12 years ago
[url=#user_comment_19496]@Yeti[/url]: Because it's gawdawful, and more people like it that good literature like Metamor Keep and Inverloch.
I WANNA BE THE GUY!
over 12 years ago
The Kid: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!
Rusteh
over 12 years ago
Thats how all us guys wish this damn movie series will end.. QUICKLY
Moogles
over 12 years ago
because Twilight is made of Emo Vampires that sparkle in the sun.
Yeti
over 12 years ago
why does everyone hate Twilight?
Edward
over 12 years ago
SOUL STEAL!
Bella
over 12 years ago
EDWARD, MY POWER, USE MY POWER!
Drunken Lemur
over 12 years ago
Bobucles, quit spamming, you n00b! I can't even move! BELMONT KEEPS STEALING ALL OF MY CASH!
BobY
over 12 years ago
Members of Team Belmont ITC
DK
over 12 years ago
And that's not even the Vampire Killer whip! Just goes to show you how retarded the Twilight series' vampires are.
Sage
over 12 years ago
You win the everything in 2 panels. Epic win =3
MercenaryBlue
over 12 years ago
Winning the internet in only two panels! *TWACK!*
Bobucles
over 12 years ago
What would make a good comic even better? A little thing I like to call Hydrostorm.
the dark priest shaft
over 12 years ago
The Belmont have their uses...
haha
over 12 years ago
finally! take that you sparkling vampire
Locutus
over 12 years ago
Lol I just realized that there were sparkles mixed in with the blood. Took me long enough. XD
Chozo
over 12 years ago
At least he didn't turn into giant bat monster form after killing him...
FROmatoe
over 12 years ago
I...I kinda like Twilight..once you get passed all the crap in it.
ColdCedric
over 12 years ago
Yeah, take that you emo vamp
JSW
over 12 years ago
I don't know about you guys but I'm going with Team Tepes...
The13thclam
over 12 years ago
That makes me so happy.
Sawmbawdy
over 12 years ago
[url=#user_comment_19455]@Somedood[/url], because in twilight they sparkle in the sunlight or something.
Jagos
over 12 years ago
Everyone said it before me but...

FUCKIN AWESOME!
Somedood
over 12 years ago
Why are sparkles coming out of his head?
AceOfScarabs
over 12 years ago
Someone needs to make this a cosplay skit, have the Twilight guy wear a false head and get a Belmont cosplayer to knock it off with his whip. TAKE VIDS and upload to the Internets, ???, and PROFIT!

I assure that they'll get hundreds and thousands of views before the day is out.
Bob
over 12 years ago
Jo, you are awesome.
XeonV
over 12 years ago
Team Belmont: 1
Team Edward: 0
Team Jacob: (Next on the list)
Team Tepes: Doesn't belong in this comment.
a pretty cool guy
over 12 years ago
more sc PREASE!?!?!?!?
over 12 years ago
@Mr. Pennysworth: that, and a certain weapon called Vampire Killer Whip.
necronis
over 12 years ago
haha that funney to see her face
Mr. Pennysworth
over 12 years ago
I dare say, what happened to the good ol' blood-surping vampires of yester-year.

Anywho, Good Show! Now we know he wasn't a vampire because only stakes, holy water, or sunshine can kill vampires.
gfox
over 12 years ago
Why, why, WHY couldn't he have killed her as well. Two birds with one stone FTW. ;_;
Banana Moose
over 12 years ago
Someone PLEASE write this as a short story.
Tyler
over 12 years ago
Eh, I don't hate the Twilight series, but I haven't read it.
Still, I can't stand Sir Shovelface. Does he even know what a facial expression is?
Lien
over 12 years ago
This is for Lost boys!
galariel
over 12 years ago
Thank you Castelvania !
it's the 3rd time i see a new comic before everyone without bothering to make a comment
over 12 years ago
there wasn't glitter before
i see what you did there
ObscureReferences
over 12 years ago
It should be also noted that Twilight series are commonly hated by audiences that are not teenage, girly, emo or gay, ergo making one of the Belmonts kill Edward, the trademark of Twilight franchise, is undeniably hilarious in opinion of those people.
Clever, indeed.
ObscureReferences
over 12 years ago
It's funny, because Edward is a vampire and whip is commonly associated with Belmonts, the family of vampire hunters, thus connecting well known Castlevania franchise with Twilight universum.
Westy543
over 12 years ago
YES!
YES YES YES
SG
over 12 years ago
It needed to be done.
Good riddance.
Anon
over 12 years ago
Hooray for GOOD vampire franchises. Mankind ill needs vampires such as Edward Cullen.

It needs much more Dracula, and also more Kain.
Syl
over 12 years ago
Augh, some guy stole my name and did the whole "first comment" bit. Now I feel sullied. Thanks a lot, other Jordan.

In other news, there is very much win in this comic. It's great how the very internet itself hates Twilight nowadays.
A Gray Phantom
over 12 years ago
Make this into a shirt and I WILL buy it.
Troll NOW!!
over 12 years ago
HYES!Thats all I got ta say!
HYES!
Tarman
over 12 years ago
I Would be SO happy if this happened :3
Giggers
over 12 years ago
Thank you. Just... thank you. This comic is a great service to males the world over.
Bobucles
over 12 years ago
SOTN GOTYAY
You can skip the talking sequence. I'd hit start just after running up a hundred flights of stairs, gunning into Dracula's lair, gasping, panting, wheezing, saying only one word. "DIE!"
Liam
over 12 years ago
Win
Roderick
over 12 years ago
Boom, hookshot!
What is a twilight? A miserably pile of sparkles.
AckAckAck
over 12 years ago
YEEESSSSSSS!!!

Jo you officially win a legion of internets!

Jake'm
over 12 years ago
Awesome, the thing's full of glitter and blood, like a happy pinata!

The best thing is, it only took one swipe to kill him, so he'll get a huge time bonus!
Mac
over 12 years ago
You sir, have performed a desperately needed miracle.

You deserve sainthood. Inb4 excommunication.
GG
over 12 years ago
Thanks you good sir.
Daedalus
over 12 years ago
Thank you good sir, you've done us all a great service.
Xeno
over 12 years ago
Thank you, man. For making the dream come alive.
Pie
over 12 years ago
Noone cared about Doctor Spock :'(
Pie
over 12 years ago
Fuck yeah! TAKE THAT, SCREAMING LITTLE FANGIRLS!!!

BTW, I was on the Scandinavian Sci-fi convention last sunday, and there was some weirdo from Twilight there (Black guy, whatever his name was)... The whole goddamn place was FLOODED with screaming little twelve-year olds. ALL GIRLS.
AK-demiker
over 12 years ago
It's German for "The Monsters".
Ryan
over 12 years ago
The first thing I thought of was Ghost Ship
Zak Canard
over 12 years ago
Happy End.
Some random guy
over 12 years ago
man edward in the first panel looks like alucard from his 8 bit days or Frankenstein's monster.
SRG
over 12 years ago
julius slaying vampires for all of deer kind.
Commander204
over 12 years ago
I see this as a bash on the Twilight series. I see a connection there, and I'm happy about that. :)
Kitsi
over 12 years ago
OH GOD YES
Mr. Squidon
over 12 years ago
I APPROVE.
LETS MAKE A SCRIPT AND GET THIS ALL OVER AMERICA.
THE FAT AND ANTI-SOCIAL WOMEN WILL LOVE IT.
That Guy
over 12 years ago
You actually made Bella kinda cute (in the second panel :|) kudos, you did what a multi-million dollar budget could not.
ayedi
over 12 years ago
YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!
YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!
NS
over 12 years ago
Too bad Edward didn't have a pear. Now we won't know what his true form was.
Mummiesftw
over 12 years ago
Belmont: Thanks for standin, still Wanker.
jurz
over 12 years ago
WAVE GOODBYE TO YOUR HEAD, WANKER

also: Dr Taco, lurk moar
KM
over 12 years ago
Who cares about the whip. It is all about Alucard Shield and the Shield Rod. It does 255 damage, replenish your life, and makes you invisible. It took me less than 10 seconds to kill Dracula (the final boss) in SOTN.
carcinoGeneticist
over 12 years ago
HUZZAH!! DEATH TO THE SPARKLY ONES!!!
Mummiesftw
over 12 years ago
Boom Headshot!
Anapenamedape
over 12 years ago
YOU SIR ARE AWESOME!
Dr. Taco
over 12 years ago
Such improper grammar, Jo; Castlevania "DOESN'T" afraid of anything!

Also: she actually looks cute as a cartoon character. Though to be fair, any female that you draw does...
Blu_Demo
over 12 years ago
KA-BOOOOOM!!
loltwilight
over 12 years ago
My sister and her bf rented Twilight, before knowing how much it sucked.
They only watched it during 20 minutes and returned it that same night to rent a better movie.
Proof that EVERYONE hates twilight, even people who don't touch the internet.
Peddie
over 12 years ago
Who needs a whip when you have... Hydro Stooooorm!
Dracula
over 12 years ago
Playtime is over! Grant me power!
Richter Belmont
over 12 years ago
Belmont: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind still ill needs a savior such as you!

fixed
The Guy
over 12 years ago
Team Edward? Team Jacob? Pfft, I always go with Team Belmont
Loc
over 12 years ago
Oh god, you're my hero.
Anonymoose
over 12 years ago
Dracula: What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets! But enough talk have at you!
Anonymoose
over 12 years ago
Belmont: No! Mankind still needs a savior from the likes of you!
Anonymoose
over 12 years ago
Dracula: Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.
Anonymoose
over 12 years ago
Belmont: Tribute!? You steal men's souls and make them your slaves!
Stickmeister
over 12 years ago
pbbththtbthtbthDAHAHAHAHAHHA

OH GOD I DON'T EVEN PLAY CASTLEVANIA AND I LAUGHED SO HARD (I do know that the main character kills Dracula, though.)

Your comics are getting more and more clever, Jo.
Anonymoose
over 12 years ago
Dracula: It was not by my hand that I was once again given flesh. I was brought here by humans who wish to pay ME tribute!
Anonymoose
over 12 years ago
Belmont: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!
UselessFool
over 12 years ago
the girl pissed me off more than the guy
Dangles
over 12 years ago
Boom headshot!
lolname
over 12 years ago
Needs more sparkle.
m00t
over 12 years ago
Sure is old meme.
A Wandering Mage
over 12 years ago
THANK YOU FOR THE ANTI TWILIGHT COMIC!!!!!!!!!!!
Candescence
over 12 years ago
That must've been Julius Belmont. AWESOME.
Mr Anonymous
over 12 years ago
Good job Jordan, now you only have to get someone to care!
:Dale
over 12 years ago
YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

the internet could use more anti-twilight comics.
worthless
over 12 years ago
Doesn't. It's supposed to be "and doesn't afraid of anything". Know your memes!
mad sc player
over 12 years ago
awww was hoping for maybe a ptoss arc? plz? another zerg one?? cmon... plz??
Jordan
over 12 years ago
First Comment!!!