What people are saying about "Wicker Man Simulator"
Wicker Man Simulator
Comments have been closed for this comic.
Hadron
about 11 years ago
@Aasad3ainJalout oh really? I like to think this game is a lot better than the mount & blade series ever was.
Asad3ainJalout
about 11 years ago
You should give Mount and Blade: Warband a try.
Belthazzar
about 11 years ago
THE BEES NOT THE BEES
Hadron
about 11 years ago
This game is SO much better than War of the Roses... You know you play on a pub noob server when there are lots of Vanguards and Archers.
I think something is supposed to go here
about 11 years ago
If you are having this problem then you need to use shields and smoke bombs more often. If you don't have one, you have the other.
fire
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_237015]@water[/url]: oh wow 40 hours. amazing
Ganjalf
about 11 years ago
I tried to get into "Chivalry" and i failed. Maybe another time...
water
about 11 years ago
this comic is ludicrous. i've barely ever seen any maa use pots, let alone be good enough to hit me with them. and torches are practically unthrowable. as for burning to death, not even once in over 40 hours of gameplay. oil however...
Liro Raeriyo
about 11 years ago
you mean with the inaccurate horses? or the fact that you cant implant your spears into the ground to kill a cavalry rush?
Ellietrap
about 11 years ago
I'll stick to Mount and Blade: Warband for my medieval combat simulation.
Pick Up Artist (the REAL real one)
about 11 years ago
No, you did.
Pick Up Artist (real one)
about 11 years ago
Eh, someone else sockpuppeted under my name. I'm flattered.
Pick Up Artist
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236794]@bodmans[/url]: Dude, every weekend I roll out with my wingman. We hit the club, locate a set. Then we move in, we DHV. Then, we throw a neg or two and keep building rapport until our target has reached buying temperature, then we KC, NC, bring 'em home, and FC. Works every single time, 100%.
MeowMix
about 11 years ago
I honestly dislike Chivalry and War of the Rose because they try to make a (sort of) realistic medieval warfare simulator of sorts.

Realistic melee fighting in these games just looks so damn awkward.

If I'm spectating these fights, it looks like these swordsmen are derping about like retards.
My god
about 11 years ago
Are you people new to the internet? It's a troll. Stop feeding the troll.
bodmans
about 11 years ago
@Pick Up Artist: where were girls mentoned on this page? and stop making up abbreviations.

if you dont like us, then go be a turd on another site
Archer
about 11 years ago
javelineer sucks ass, he feels way UP until you get hit by another javelin and then you call them OP
Hadron
about 11 years ago
@Pick Up Artist Lol... Really, though, these people are knocking the game and have never played it. Plus, the author doesn't seem to have played enough of this game to actually figure out how to play well.
Pick Up Artist
about 11 years ago
So much virgin in these comments

There's like 3,5 billion girls on the planet. Stop drooling like tards.

L2 FC.
Hadron
about 11 years ago
@/v/ WotR? HAHA! Oh my god, you think that that game requires skill? SO DAMN EASY TO WIN
Hadron
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236751]@Stravagante[/url] Really? You don't feel like that's a bad thing? FEEL FRICKIN' ASHAMED, IT IS FRIGGIN' AMAZING.
Stravagante
about 11 years ago
I wasn't even aware of this game's existence before now.. don't exactly feel like this is a bad thing though.
Hadron
about 11 years ago
You can tell this person is new to the game - hasn't yet developed the strategies to easily avoid archers and MaA firepot spam. Lol. Or should try some 1v1 duel servers, or the duel mode, when it comes out with the first content update later this month.
O-(-'.'Q)
about 11 years ago
@An Onymous: But the bees! THE BEES! How could you hate the BEES!

...No, you're right, that movie was terrible.
Disappointing Reality
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236657]@RoderickBR[/url] Actually, it's more of a controller with a built-in monitor than a portable console; the game is streamed from your computer with an Nvidia card. You won't be leaving your house with it.
Boltx
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236703]@Core[/url]: no the friendly-fire arrows are worse, especially since they throw off your block and let the enemy get credit for killing you
Core
about 11 years ago
Nothing is worst than a friendly vanguard swinging his Bardiche like crazy and chopping your head off on a 2 on 1 situation ;-;
/v/
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236649]@Truthiness[/url]: noskiller spotted. go back to cod, scrub. WotR takes real skill, aiming, footwork and knowing the hitboxes. Chivalry is a casualfest.
Serathis
about 11 years ago
Welcome to every COD game ever.
An Onymous
about 11 years ago
Man did I hate the Wicker Man movie. Thats all. No comment on this game whatsoever.
Abedeus
about 11 years ago
To be honest, there rarely was a time where two brave knights faced off in a duel during wars or battles... 2vs1 or 3vs1 were pretty normal, as it was more effective than 1 on 1.

Chivalry is a VERY good simulation of that reality. Also, it feels awesome to chop down 3 people at same time...
RoderickBR
about 11 years ago
nVidia is making a portable console, that will run Steam titles. Soon you'll be able to be backstabed or set on fire on the go.
Andrew Hall
about 11 years ago
In unrelated news, I signed up for League of Legends, I blame your influence Jo, but also want to put in your summoner name for whatever referral gift you might get...are you willing to share that with the community?
Andrew Hall
about 11 years ago
Just like the real Middle Ages :D
Dudsdark
about 11 years ago
Not the flames! NOT THE FLAMES!!!
Truthiness
about 11 years ago
It's still better than war of the roses. Not that that's difficult.
 Platypus
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236464]@ArcDzheem[/url]: Peons were not issued firepots as "standard" equipment either, so it becomes an accurate simulation of what happens when you give peasant farmer scrubs firepots as "standard' issue. Europe would be a cinder today.
Mr. Al
about 11 years ago
I barely post, but I really dislike chivalry, almost so much that i hate it. suge a huge disapointment. that talk about being better thet aoc? bs, there's no change at all, not even in graphics. yep, roses is definetly better.
█████
about 11 years ago
I kinda enjoy Chivalry, even if it does get annoying sometimes when you're on a streak of failure.

Though I have to say, the number one voice command I hear when playing is along the lines of, "We need to take down the archers!"

Sreggin Wej
about 11 years ago
Enough with the chivalry comics, I'll stop reading if we dont get DotA 2 comics.
bodmans
about 11 years ago
i just got chivalry, and have yet to start MP. basic training sucked, and now im supposed to fight arrows??
huh?
about 11 years ago
I find this hilarious because every single person that has played through Chivalry has stated that you should never use fire pots or archery because of how unreliable they are.

Funny.
Swagner
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236455]@Gaylord[/url] Apparently, since we took that moniker for the same reason. I guess I'm not as original (or unique) as I'd thought. (Not that it took a whole lot of effort...)
O-(-'.'Q)
about 11 years ago
Clearly the archers are just trying to make it rain in order to put out the flames, but with arrows instead of water. I mean it's rain, right? Rain puts out fire, right?

MEDIEVAL LOGIC!
AsteriskCGY
about 11 years ago
Sounds like thats something that requires an external cooldown.
Dins Fire
about 11 years ago
Just gotta learn how to fight in the shade, my friend.
-_-
about 11 years ago
Last pic was relevant to my interests. perhaps would need to check that one.
Deptus
about 11 years ago
So this is pretty much that Age of Chivalry mod, except you have to buy it now?
Ghost Rider
about 11 years ago
Needs more Nick Cage punching out women to be a Wicker Man simulator.
ArcDzheem
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236452]@AckAckAck[/url]: Only knights trained for years. The most common soldier in medieval warfare was the armed peasant, which is basically just one leveled-up angry farmer. Conscription was the name of the game and career soldiers few and far between. Mercenaries were likely bandits in their spare time.
Ninj77
about 11 years ago
Btw, I just searched "Chivalry" on my favorite gaming site and, er...all I see are screenshots of headless corpses and burning bodies!
Ninj77
about 11 years ago
Jo, ol chap, didn't you know? Fire is the universal answer for everything!
Zach
about 11 years ago
Chivalry pretty much is the second panel, once you get good at it and find nonscrub servers. Honestly, once you get used to the combat system, it opens up all kinds of avenues to feel like a badass. Nothing quite like taking on four guys at once as a Man at Arms.
Gaylord
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236450]@Swagner[/url] My last name is Wagner, and I call myself Swagner, are you me?
Swagner
about 11 years ago
I hope that where he just wrote "blowing things" he means "blowing things out of proportion". That could lead to some, erm, interesting connotations otherwise.
AckAckAck
about 11 years ago
[url=#user_comment_236444]@Tue[/url]: I know lifespam is a misspelling. But it's actually pretty funny since gamers usually spawn so easily in games like these. So f*** off YOLO, here comes LIFESPAM!
AckAckAck
about 11 years ago
Chivalry: The game that shows how idiots without medieval military training doing war.

Why do you think soldiers in the medieval era trained for years? because they need to be more organized and not running around like a headless chicken or shooting arrows at friendly.
RBeckham
about 11 years ago
Other pet peeves: bad net code (what you see isn't always what's happening), having to turn 180 degrees (back to opponent) to block a polearm at point blank range, and misleading xhairs in 3rd person.
Tue
about 11 years ago
Whats with the spelling? Lifespam, or is it just a new term being tested?
Anon
about 11 years ago
War of the Roses is infinitely better than this casualfest.
Fire pots are the noobtubes of Chivalry.
Nyxilis
about 11 years ago
I don't really have that many issues with fire pots. The man at arms with them always whips it out and runs early with it.

I have infinitely more troubles with noob vanguards running in with a full swing to get one guy at the same time killing each other and me who was already fighting them!
Dove A Kin
about 11 years ago
@Cley Faye: Yep. Like console commands other than God Mode. [url=#user_comment_236436] @erthkwake[/url]: I'm sure faggot Pick Up Artist would like to TROLL your SEXY ASS, faggot.
Cley Faye
about 11 years ago
@Pick Up Artist: you're saying I can give my stats an artificial boost by only getting some unprotected action with std infected hookers ?
erthkwake
about 11 years ago
The only person under this comment needs to troll harder.
Pick Up Artist
about 11 years ago
Everyone above this comment is a virgin who needs to learn pick up in order to succeed because a man's worth is measured by his capacity to get laid, the number of women he has laid, and the amount of STDs he gathered.